Sometimes you meet someone who you fall in love with so hopelessly, you trust them with everything, they make you smile and most of all they keep your secrets. You know that you want this person to be in your life forever and you also are prepared to commit to them, trust them and respect them every day.
What they don’t tell you is that it doesn’t have to be a man that all these feelings come pouring out for, it can be as simple as a best friend, your very own “sister from another mister”. I’m so lucky to have found my soul mate, my very own ride or die girl, the one who I know has my back what ever I’m going through, a constant source of support, love and friendship that knows no bounds.
Women have a tendency to define themselves not by the wonderful relationships that they form around them, but more the connection to a “love” partner. We become desperate to for-fill their every need and place them on a pedal stool, so high that even an olympic high jumper couldn’t reach them. We give every ounce of ourselves, seeking approval and understanding that is very rarely returned. So why don’t we give this level of dedication to the women in our lives? Is it we think because we have the honour of calling them our “bestie” that we assume they will always be there?
My relationship with my girlie is something that has taken time, effort and energy to cultivate into what we have now. A level of trust and respect that runs so deep that we can afford the wonders that it can bring, pure unadulterated honesty, companionship and love, all the things that we are constantly seeking in a partner to love. However, they rarely show to be as true as what they are in friendship.
As women, we try our best to be independent, confident and passionate in every facet of our lives, wether it is our families, our careers or our everyday lives. We try our best to convey the ideal picture, meeting others crazy expectations, and trying to appear like Beyonce whilst doing it. We tend to forget that it is actually our support network that keeps us moving in the right lane. They are the opinions that we listen too, the shoulders that we cry on and the reason for the laughter at every pivotal moments in our lives.
My life wouldn’t be complete without my Chica, she is the Ben to my Jerry, the Sonny to my Cher and the milk to my coffee. So much love, shared between two girls that found their way to each other through a cigarette in a fashion class. If I knew then what a journey we would travel I would have taken more moments to appreciate what I have in her. I would have captured so many more memories of laughing till our abs hurt, crying till our eyes were puffy and being there for so many special moments in each others lives.
But I don’t have to ever worry about not remembering them, because we still have so many more to make. A road that we are still travelling that will no doubt end in the nursing home together where we confuse our dentures. I don’t ever have to worry about her leaving me because I’m not good enough, I don’t ever have to worry about disappointing her, I don’t ever have to filter what I say to get her to understand because its simple, it is pure love in every dimension that it brings.
Maybe when looking for love, we should start not on a dating site, the local bar or the gym, but in our circle. Because its already there and has been for a long time, we just haven’t opened our eyes to it yet, but when you do it can be the most liberating feeling. Like flying on a trapeze but knowing if you don’t make the jump, your safety net is always there. So with that in mind, anything is possible because she will always catch you, so there is no harm in trying.