Now that I am a single girl again for the first time in a very long time, I am learning the changing ways of the dating scene and I’m not that impressed. From what I can gather your soul mate is now found behind the screen of a mobile phone or a computer. You have to navigate your way through the complicated world of likes, cryptic messages on instagram and snap chat stalking. What happened to the days of your eyes meeting, flirty smiles and then the strange concept of an actual conversation? Now we swipe left or right on Tinder, based on the way someone looks rather than their personality. I thought the saying was “never judge a book by its cover”, I see that no longer applies in the haze of hashtags and re-grammes.
It appears that now “the potential candidate” knows more about you before you even meet than you own family. I’m so confused, is that where relationships start these days, the person hidden behind the veil of facebook? How are we supposed to know that the person is real until you come face to face and by then you don’t really have a clue of what you are walking into.
I must admit I have fallen foul of this once, except I knew the person before it grew in a different way, at least the tough bit was taken care of, I knew what they were real. However we are yet to have an actual conversation. It all started with messages on instagram and then moved to whats app, so say it went from zero to one hundred is a bit of an understatement. But the confidence isn’t there to actually have a conversation, and as we all know I can be quite forward when I want too. Is it that my words are too intimidating? We forget what power words have, because billions of them are exchanged over a keyboard everyday, without realising what we are putting out for the world and the person to see.
The text messages, tweets and facebook posts are so open to interpretation as you can’t hear the natural tones of someones voice. By speaking to each other you can hear the emotions that someone is feeling, you know if they are in a good mood or a bad mood, you know if they are frustrated, angry or happy just by the cadence of their voice. How are you supposed to get to know someone if all you see are words on a screen?
Please don’t get me wrong, the wonderful world of the web has allowed families and friends stay in contact throughout the world, you can be next too someone who is 6,500 miles away and its just like you are in the same room. Its allowed relationships to grow, relationships to go the distance and people to share the wonderful memories that they are creating. But what happened to surprising someone with a letter rather than an email? Seeing that your friend or lover took the time to hand write you their thoughts and feelings that you can keep somewhere safe rather than backed up on a hard drive.
Since launching this blog I am stuck to the computer and phone more than ever. However do I like it? Not that much! But am I committed to it? Yes I am! I spend my days seeing things through a screen rather than being present in the moment. Chica told me off the other day because of being on the phone too much and not being actually in the room with her and the kids. I think if I carry on this way I will end up having my phone confiscated the next time I walk through her front door.
Maybe that is what we all need, a bit of down time where the phones and the computers are put away, a technological disconnect that allows for conversation, rather than grunts and nods of the head that prove you are not listening anyway.