In this world, we so often say things without thinking. We do it to our friends, to people we have just met, our families and our love ones. The words are out, before we have even connected our brain and mouth together and then that is it! They are out there and we can’t, no matter how hard we try, take them back.
We shrink in the corner, saying to ourselves, “why the hell did I say that?” Well, that is what I do, then play it over and over in my mind trying to work out if there is any damage limitation I can do, to make it not sound so bad. Often, it is interpreted completely differently to the way I meant it. However, some people don’t seem to think the same way when they are talking to me.
This blog is a little bit of a rant, because tonight, that is the kind of mood I am in. I have actually been playing it over and over in my mind, of what it is that I wanted to write about, but, I wanted to find a way of spinning it so that I could end this post in a positive manner. As we all know by now, I’m trying to be the “Queen of Positivity” however, sometimes even I see red mist.
Especially, with the four little words in this world, that make my skin crawl. They may not seem much to others, and in fact, many of you will be able to shrug them off, without thinking. But for my brain, I get fixated on them, just four little words that drive my mind crazy. They are said so flippantly, and said often in jest. They are meant as a means of support, but come across actually as a telling off.
By now I’m guessing you are all thinking, what could these words be that drive this girl so off the deep end? Its simple, “i told you so!” If I had a pound for every time this has been said to me over the last ten weeks, I would be a very rich woman. Just about every person in my life has said these fateful words to me, and so far I have been able to hold my temper. I wont lie, my face does start to change colour but, I try my best to keep the words in my brain, and not let them escape into the world.
It is always in reference to the same thing, Champagne Charlie. I am starting to feel a little sorry for him. Yes, I did have expectations that it would all be perfect and that if I put in enough hard work, it would all come good. However, for a relationship that probably was never going to make it, we did last nearly fifteen years. For those who know me personally, we all know the reasons why it broke down in the end (one day, I will share them), however, I don’t need to be told every time I see someone, “i told you so”.
We have all made mistakes in this world, done things we shouldn’t have, pushed the limits and the boundaries. Sometimes it has worked out and in others it was the wrong thing to do. But, what did doing those things do for you? It made you the wonderful person that you are today, it gave you your opinions, and your outlook on life. It made you realise what you will take, and what you will say is too much for you. So, although you didn’t get the end result that you expected, you got something better, self growth. That is all we want in this world, is to grow as people, change our opinions, learn about ourselves and that is only going to happen by taking chances.
For some, calculated risk is the best option, and for others, like myself, it is lead with my heart and my head will follow. Most often, it doesn’t work out for me, and on other occasions it does, but I’m changing each day and becoming a better version of myself than the day before, and that is all that I can ask for. That is all that anyone can ask for. I will always believe in taking the risk because unless you find out, you never know what the pay off could be, it could be a new lesson to learn or it could be the start of something new, wonderful and exciting that will take you places you never expected.
For me, if the relationship hadn’t broke down, I wouldn’t have spent so much time with my girlies, and the babies. I wouldn’t have re-connected with friends, I wouldn’t have been and done the things that I have. I wouldn’t have a new opinion on the world, I wouldn’t have learnt what I expect and what I want in my life and I wouldn’t have met new people that I have let into my wonderful world. I would still be cooking dinner three nights a week, playing wifey and never getting what I wanted in return.
So next time you go to say those words, stop for a moment and think. What the person actually needs is, “hey it didn’t work, but what did you learn from it? How have you changed?” not “i told you so”. No one has the right to say it to anyone, and they certainly don’t have the right to be self-righteous about it, because it was their lesson to learn and it is their journey that they are on, just like the one you have travelled in your life. Just the same way that you learnt from the different life experiences that you have had, because we are all just finding our way through this journey.